Sunday, February 5, 2012

August - Present.

Gosh. I haven't blogged in such a long time. August 17th - present, so much has happened. 
I feel I stopped blogging because after my positive happy with life post, things became a bit bleak and I had a lot to sort out emotionally.

Well, from August - now, you have missed out on: 

Lows.
- I became pretty sick at one stage. Blood tests were taken but I never found out what was wrong. It passed. I came to the conclusion it was my body reacting badly to a medication I just got off of after 9 years. That was fun ha. 

- had a birthday, organized an awesome event, had to cancel it. Due to being unsure if I'd be well enough for it, and because I just wasn't in the mood anymore. I planned to have a joined birthday with the boyfriend but we ended so thinking about going through with it just made me feel crapper lol.

- yeah, relationship ended. I still don't know why. It went from my fault to not my fault to a million stupid reasons, like 'my texts are too long and frequent'. I had my friends contact me telling me he was trying to get with them. Telling them a lot of untrue things such as 'Bec has moved on with other men, I can pretend it doesn't hurt but it does' which was far from the truth and seeking comfort in his own doing just got to me even more as he didn't realize during that period of time all I could do is lay in bed crying being a woman. This kind of caused a big downward spiral in what was beginning to feel like the perfect life. Lost my job, got ridiculously sick, couldnt pay rent, couldnt afford to eat anymore, more family drama, lost the person who meant the most to me. Let's just say I did not take it well at all.

- whole outlook on life became crappy, which caused a change in my attitude for a while.

- drinking a little too much the worse things got. From being sick, I missed my exams. I tried to organize a way around it, called them up and I was told I can only repeat next semester but I couldn't get a refund. This sucked because, I didn't have a job so I couldnt afford to continue my study. That made me feel pretty fail. 

- August until now, I have had a few interviews, the more I was rejected, the harder I took it. It's life though! Bound to happen. Still unemployed though. 

- Christmas without the family. It's just a day so it's not a big deal but the problem with it was because of some fall outs in the family, I felt I was punished despite putting on a fake face to make my family happy and hope it could make the day somewhat bare able. Everybody had family to go to. Brother and sister spent it in Sydney, mum and dad spent it with extended family in Queensland. It was the first Christmas without my parents. I just missed the little things, like, mums over ecstatic-ness and amazing food preparing, dad dressing as Santa XD laying in the sun with the dogs listening to cheesy Christmas music. 




Highs
- a group of friends celebrated my birthday with me regardless and surprised me with cake at midnight. I felt so happy I could have cried lol, it was exactly what I needed at the time.

- I moved out of Urbanest. This should be a low. It was great in theory. I won't forget the amazing times I had there but things got way too tough and by the end of it, I really needed a change of scenery. 
I live with my sister now. Rent still isn't really affordable but I'm managing. Late night marathons of Sex and the City, The Hills etc. girly chats until all hours of the morning <3

- seeing more of my amazing friends. Reuniting with old school friends. This has meant the most to me really.

- attending more events. Went to stereosonic, birthdays, outings to the Duke + other places. Some of the best memories came out of these. 

- met someone who makes me smile. As gay as this is all going to sound -_- I think my outlook on things has improved dramatically since having this certain somebody in my life. I'm very thankful. 

Watch this space for awesome blogging again. I just had to get this not so positive post out the way first.

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